Every family has expectations for college. Most of them were never said out loud.
Our Semester Agreement puts your expectations and your student's on the table, then guides you through creating one agreement you both help write and sign.
- Each of you answers on your own device, so your student's answers are their own.
- You talk through the differences together, with a simple four-step method.
- You both sign a written agreement you can come back to.
Instant access in your College Success Made Simple account, the login for your courses and tools. Share it with your student.
Not Sure What Your Student Expects, or Tired of Guessing?
- You send a third "just checking in" text and get "k" back.
- The grades conversation happens over text because neither of you wants to call.
- You hear yourself start to lecture during a check-in, and your student goes quiet.
- It's Sunday night, and you're waiting for a call your student never agreed to make.
Orientation told you to step back. Nobody told you how far.
You shouldn't be expected to already know how to do this. Your relationship with your student changes when they leave for college, and nobody hands either of you new terms. So each of you fills the gaps with assumptions, and neither of you says them out loud.
Hi, I'm Dr. Dagny Rearden.
When I went away to college, I called home every Sunday. Long distance was cheaper on Sundays and after 10 p.m.
So when my own son left for college, I assumed we'd talk every Sunday. I never said it out loud. I just expected it.
That's how so much of the frustration starts. As parents, we make assumptions and don't always say them. Or we expect our student to know what we're thinking, based on how things have always worked.
As a professor and a parent, I've watched this frustration play out over the years, in a lot of different areas. The relationship between parent and student goes through one of its biggest shifts when a student leaves for college. Parents still want some guidelines and boundaries. Students want independence.
I built Our Semester Agreement to get those expectations out in the open. You each say what you expect. You each hear the other side. Then you decide together what each of you will do, and you put it in writing.
How It Works
The conversation you keep meaning to have, with a written agreement you can both come back to.
Answer on your own. Each person, on their own device.
Swap codes. Copy yours into a text or email. Paste theirs in.
Discuss, live. Different answers show you where to talk, not who is right.
Agree together. The student speaks first. Not ready? Make it a trial.
Check-ins. We have a planned check-in every two weeks.Trial
Print and sign. You both open the same finished agreement.
Sample answers from a sample family. One question shown.
- Answer on your own. You and your student each open the builder on your own phone, tablet, or computer and answer 35 questions across five sections: academic responsibility, communication, support and boundaries, money and spending, and health and wellbeing. Some questions are worded differently for parent and student. An optional section covers visits home and breaks. Your answers stay on your device until you choose to send them, and your progress saves, so you can stop and pick up where you left off.
- Swap codes. When you're done, the builder gives you a code. Copy it into a text or email to the other person, and paste theirs into your screen. Your answers then appear side by side.
- Talk it through, live. On a call or in person, work through each difference with the Same Page method. The student speaks first. The parent restates what they heard, then responds. You look for a middle path. Then you test it.
- Agree, or agree to revisit. Anything you can't settle yet becomes a trial or a "Not agreed yet" item. You revisit it at the review point you choose: midterm, the end of the semester, or both. Nobody gets forced into an answer.
- Print and sign. One of you sends the other a final agreement code, so you both open the same finished agreement to print, sign, and keep.
Everything Inside
A Look Inside
"You are deciding how this semester runs, not who is right."
One of the ground rules for talking through your differences
Sample agreement terms
(as they print on a finished agreement)
Instead of "we'll check in regularly," you get:
- We have a planned check-in once a week.
- If a check-in is missed, the person who missed it reschedules within two days.
What you get:
- The Our Semester Agreement builder, in your account, on your phone, tablet, or computer
- Separate answers for parent and student, with some questions worded for each of you
- 35 questions across 5 sections, plus an optional section on visits home and breaks
- Personal commitments: each of you names one thing you'll stop doing and one thing you'll do
- Share codes for families who live apart
- The Same Page method and ground rules for talking through differences
- Trial terms and "Not agreed yet" items, revisited at your chosen review point
- A printable agreement with signature lines, identical for both of you
Our Semester Agreement
$27
$27 one-time purchase. All sales are final.
Instant access in your College Success Made Simple account, the login for your courses and tools. Share it with your student.
Who It's For
This is for you if:
- You want clear expectations with your college student, without hovering.
- You live apart during the semester and talk mostly by phone or text.
- You keep having the same disagreement about grades, check-ins, or money.
- You're starting a new semester, or you're partway through one that isn't going the way either of you expected.
- You want your student to have a real say in the terms, including what you'll do differently.
This is not for you if:
- You're looking for a semester schedule or study plan. That's what the DREAM Semester Workshop is for.
- You need help with a crisis. This doesn't replace counseling or crisis support. If your student's health or safety is at risk, start with campus support or a crisis line first.
- You need help working out disagreements between two parents. The builder supports one parent and one student at a time. It doesn't mediate between parents.
FAQs
How do I get it?
Right after you buy, Our Semester Agreement is in your College Success Made Simple account, the login for your courses and tools. Log in, then share your login with your student so they can open it on their own device.
We live in different places. Can we still do this?
Yes. It's built for that. You each answer on your own device, then trade codes by text or email. When it's time to talk through the differences, do it live on a phone or video call.
What if my student won't do it?
The builder can't make your student participate. It is built to give them a real reason to: they answer on their own device, they speak first on every difference, and they write what they need from you, including one thing you'll stop doing. Try inviting them like this: "I found something we fill out separately and then compare. You get to say what you need from me too. Would you try it with me?"
Why put it in writing? We can just talk.
You can, and you will. The talking happens live. The writing gives you both something to come back to when someone remembers it differently.
What if we disagree on half the answers?
That's a normal starting point. Different answers show you where to talk, not who is right. A ten-minute rule keeps any one topic from taking over: if it runs past ten minutes, make it a trial or leave it open, and move on.
Are we locked in once we sign?
No. Any term can be a trial. Anything you can't settle yet is marked "Not agreed yet." Both get revisited at the review point you choose: midterm, the end of the semester, or both.
I already have the contract in the Parent/Student Starter Pack. How is this different?
The Starter Pack contract is a template you fill in together. Our Semester Agreement walks each of you through the questions separately, shows you where your answers differ, and gives you a method for working through them before you sign.
Is there more support after this?
Yes. Once you've agreed how you'll work together, the DREAM Semester Workshop helps you and your student plan the semester itself. It opens before the start of each fall and spring semester.
Imagine Sunday night without wondering whether the phone will ring, because you both already agreed when check-ins happen. Imagine a grade slipping, and both of you already knowing what happens first.
- Each of you answers on your own, so both sets of expectations get said out loud
- Share codes, so you can do it from anywhere
- The Same Page method for working through what doesn't match
- A signed agreement you can both come back to at midterm or the end of the semester
Instant access in your College Success Made Simple account, the login for your courses and tools. Share it with your student. All sales are final.