Why College Is Supposed to Be Hard (And Why It Might Not Be for Everyone)

Let’s be real: college is meant to challenge students on every level. The late-night study marathons, the complicated research projects, and the constant juggling of deadlines serve a bigger purpose than just piling on stress—they’re helping your student grow into someone who can handle adversity and adapt to an ever-changing world. The goal isn’t to coast through with straight A’s and zero friction; the goal is to stretch the mind, build resilience, and learn to persevere when things get tough.

But there’s a caveat that doesn’t get talked about nearly enough: college is not be for everyone. In a world where it sometimes feels like you need a degree to be taken seriously, the reality is that forcing every single high school grad into four-year university life diminishes the value of those degrees and overlooks a host of rewarding alternative paths. It’s okay to challenge the notion that a traditional university track is the only path forward.

The Role of College: It’s About Growth, Not Just Grades

College is tough for a reason. When students confront new ideas and demanding coursework, they’re training themselves to think critically and persevere. Here’s why that difficulty matters:

1. Real-World Preparation
   The real world isn’t made of tidy multiple-choice quizzes; it’s full of curveballs. College courses that push critical thinking equip students with the problem-solving skills they’ll need in careers, relationships, and life itself. By tackling complicated assignments, students learn to manage priorities and meet higher expectations—a practice run for the real world.

2. Building Self-Discipline
   Consistent studying, attending early morning lectures, and juggling group projects help form habits of self-discipline. When students learn to schedule in-person study sessions (not just scroll through apps labeled “study with me”), they develop focus and a sense of accountability for their own success. This kind of discipline pays off in any profession they choose.

3. Learning Grit
   College is supposed to throw challenges at you. Struggling in a class isn’t a sign of defeat; it’s an opportunity to lean into grit, find creative solutions, and come out stronger. Overcoming an “impossible” research paper or acing a test after hours of dedicated study builds a student’s confidence to tackle life’s next big obstacles.

The Controversial Truth: College Isn’t for Everyone

It might sound shocking, but it’s genuinely okay if your student decides a four-year degree isn’t in their future. As parents, we may have grown up with the belief that a bachelor’s degree was the ultimate key to success. However, not everyone thrives in the same environment or wishes to follow the same career path. Here’s why it’s absolutely okay:

1. Oversaturation Diminishes Value
   If every single person holds a bachelor’s degree, it loses its value as a differentiator. Many competitive job fields already require additional experience or even a master’s degree. Instead of pouring resources into a four-year degree your student doesn’t want or need, consider trade schools or other specialized programs that could catapult them into meaningful, hands-on careers.  Shock of all shocks - My gynecologist told me that his plumber friend makes more money than he does!!!

2. Trade Schools and Two-Year Programs Rock
   Trade schools and associate degrees can lead to highly specialized skill sets that are in big demand. Plumbers, electricians, dental hygienists, and web developers (with a two-year degree) often earn as much—or even more—than an average college graduate. The work is fulfilling, the timeline is shorter, and in many cases, the student graduates with far less debt.

3. Debt Is Real
   Going into massive student loan debt for a degree a student has lukewarm feelings about can be counterproductive. When you compare the cost of traditional college tuition to the cost of a two-year degree or trade certificate, the math can start to favor the more affordable path. The takeaway? Don’t allow societal pressure to overshadow practical decision-making.  Also, employers will often pay for school if employees want to go to school in the evenings or online to finish their bachelor degree.

When College Is Worth the Challenge

Of course, none of this is to say college isn’t the right move for plenty of students. I loved college and I want students to love it just as much!  If your student is passionate about a specialized field like engineering, medicine, or accounting (and many more), a four-year (or more) path may be exactly what they need. In these cases, the challenge serves a very specific purpose: to train them to excel in a demanding environment where the stakes are genuinely high.  A couple years ago, I had a student in my office telling me that the course was too hard and asking for an exception to get out of needing this class for their major.  That's simply not reasonable.  I asked the student if they would like a surgeon operating on them that was given an exception because medical school was just too hard.  It was a difficult moment for the student, but they understood why exceptions can not be made.  To get a degree, you have to pass the classes.

For these students, an organized study schedule, accountability for their own workload, and learning to manage time (yes, actually turning off the phone and scheduling blocks of focused study) can lead to amazing outcomes. They’ll learn perseverance when it matters most, emerging not only with a diploma, but with real-life skills they can use in any career.

How a College Success Coach Helps

Now, imagine your student in the thick of deadlines, labs, study groups, and extracurricular commitments. That’s where a college success coach comes in. Instead of letting your student drown in anxiety and missed deadlines, a good coach steps up as a guide—someone who’s been there and knows how to build better routines. They help students:

• Develop Personalized Study Systems: No more guesswork about how much to study or what to prioritize.
• Balance Academics with Fun: Because a happy, well-rested student is much more likely to stay motivated.
• Build Confidence and Grit: So they can handle any academic or life challenge without giving up.

What This Means for You and Your Student

As a parent, you want to ensure your student has every opportunity for success. But success doesn’t always look like a traditional college degree. Sometimes success is found in a hands-on certification. Sometimes it’s found in an associate degree that leads to a stable job with great earning potential. And sometimes it is that four-year journey—grueling at times but worth it for the passion and the payoff.

The key is to make sure your student’s path aligns with their goals, their interests, and their willingness to put in the work. College should be hard because life is challenging—but we don’t have to go through that difficulty blindly. With the right support, the right plan, and a willingness to step away from the phone and into engaging study practices, your student can find their version of success—no matter what path they choose.

Final Thoughts
College isn’t a cakewalk because it’s not supposed to be. It’s an incubator for focus, grit, and personal growth. But let’s not forget that it’s not the only path. If you and your student are wondering whether the four-year route is the right one, take a step back. Look at the bigger picture. Is your student ready for the rigor of college—and are they genuinely interested in it? If not, there are incredible opportunities waiting in trade programs and two-year degrees.

Whatever path you decide on together, remember: success requires engagement, discipline, and a willingness to put in the hard work. If your student is ready to level up but needs support creating a plan that balances academics with a healthy social life, I’m here to help.